Under the arches!

Razors and Races

There he goes olde Arthur Toddy Phillips with his cut throat razor blade.He was the dean of the dippers he was my great grand pa.Spending his days dressed smart and audacious trying to look born and bred;Diamonds and daisies at Ascot with ladies geezers from Hoxton Square.Picking pockets at music halls and pulling strokes at market stalls.Razors and races. Now Aunt Kate said he looked like a tally man or that he dressed so smart he looked like a doctor.Two pints and a whiskey for John that was his brother you know.Taking their share with a fake debonair while Prince Monolulu chases the fat.They were slashing the traces twas a day at the races while the loser was kicking the cat.Picking pockets at music halls while pulling strokes at market stalls.Shootouts down Portpool Lane here come the Finsbury boys.They be slashing and a cutting down olde Soho ways and they sent the Cobblestone Kid packing.Aunt Kate said he looked like a tally man, and others said he dressed so smart he looked like a doctor.

Fuck the Sabinis all the way down to Brighton.

Razors and Races (1)

Razors and Races (2) 

Razors & Races (3) 

Post Toddy & John/ We Were Islington (A Film) 


Mesut Ozil Is a Gooner


Mesut Ozil is a German Turk

and he prays before the game 

he dont have to cos hes world class

and we love him all the same

hes king of them all at the game football

he is a midfield general

sininging la la la la la la la la la la

Mesuit Ozil is a Gooner! 


Lady Christine

He’s Fred and he was a Teddy boy and they called him to fight for the king and with that uniform on it all felt quite wrong so he decided to become a queen.He went to Soho and dressed up for a show and now he’s my Lady Christine.They’ll never find him in the throng because in Soho she now belongs so if you see my Lady Christine no snitching because now she the Queen she’s the queen of Soho cos Fred had to go and she’s now married to a bloke called Syd Green.          

2.A Street Phrenologist


He was a poet of sorts-self taught in Soho ways-he sold his poetry to tourists-most of the buyers weren’t purist-they just wanted to get away-because he stank-he stank to high heaven-they say he put the B.O in Bohemia-all in a days work for he-but he thought that he should be on the stage-that was his forte you see-he went for the part of Long John-but the producer said he was,”all wrong”it wasn’t his foot that was lacking-it was because he smelt like a Yetis knackers.

1.The Man In The Dirty Jumper


This was a very strange occurrence I saw this man with a limited circumference-I hope I am not being rude when I say that he was a skinny fucker who hadn’t had any tucker-well not for a few days any way-I could see that he was a handsome chap underneath all that unwanted crap-Well I thought so anyway-I could see that all he needed was a bit of love and a good old soapy sunlight scrub-So I took him to my homestead and without much said I offered him a bed I don’t really think that was a bad thing-because I am a mans man after all and I don’t think  he cared whether I was yin yan or saint Paul.